No day but today...

I've had endless hours of self reflection and I've discovered things about myself that I just don't like and will no longer tolerate of myself. At first I cried "why? Why would he do this to me?" and played things over and over in my head but then I saw a version of me that was just plain disgusting. I was cruel and unkind at times then I would brag about how awesome I am, never taking fault for my short comings but then I would turn around and fight with him for his. I never listened to him when he said something bothered him or hurt him. I was stuck in a delusion that I was a God send and I could do no wrong. Don't be mistaken, yes I should have confidence in myself but how I acted was terrible! I am still so heart broken over the whole situation but at the same time I starting to see that I needed my bubble to be popped. I was acting foolish. Everything is soo clear to me now and it's time to grow up. Time to stop striving for attention in negative ways but be a strong confident woman that I know I can be. Maybe in time, he will see who I can be and it will captivate him. Maybe it won't but regardless I cannot continue to be the monster I allowed myself to become. Life is waiting for me. I can't keep sitting around waiting for something to happen or for someone else to do something about it. Its time for a make over from the inside out. How can I ever make someone else happy if I don't learn to be happy with myself?! The time is now...