what's going on?!

It's been awhile since I've blogged anything and for good reason. I hit a really rough patch for about 2 weeks and felt that it would not be beneficial for me to put all my emotions on display (well at least not anymore than the depressing songs I was posting on facebook). I just needed to work through them. I did, and I still am. It's going to be a long time before I can wake up and not have a ball of anxiety in my chest and not have to fight tears when I hear a certain song. The point is, I know what I need to do and I'm doing it no matter how hard it gets and how much I want to give up. I will not allow myself to go back to who I was. With that being said, I figure I should update those of you who are routing for me.

I started taking voice lessons. I have many reasons for this; first being that I love to sing and always wished I was good at it. I used to be in choir but I lost the control over my voice and started only singing with my head voice (which doesn't always sound that great). Another reason is to build confidence and learn to overcome my social anxieties. I'm really excited about it, especially to learn how to really use my voice.

I also decided to wait on going to Salon Success Academy mostly due to the fact that I don't have the money to pay for the registration fees and I waited too long to try to go and my financial aid was already sent to Chaffey. So I'm going to continue taking courses at Chaffey for now. Starting with summer school! I've never taken summer school so this will be interesting. I'm going to take English since it will be easier to focus on the homework when I only have the one course. Plus it will occupy some of my time, which would be nice. The best part, I got my text book online for $6! Score!!!

Anyhow, the weight loss challenge continues. It's slowed down and it's a bit discouraging but I know it's healthier to lose at a steady rate and not drop 10 pounds a week. It does feel great though to be eating healthier and exercising. I have a goal of getting to 150 pounds but I'm just not sure what that looks like so I'm guessing between 150-175. I want to look something like this picture.I don't want to be a twig but I want a fairly flat tummy and to be thick yet fit! So the journey continues....