broken heart...

Ever since I started dating Josh, I have been aware of the medical issues with his father, Mike. He has survived 3 heart attacks, has a defibrillator, as well as other numerous health problems. Most of the big things that went on were before Josh and I started dating. I guess because of this, I took for granted how fragile his life really is. But over the last 4 years, he has become like a 2nd father to me. Although we are not related by blood or through marriage, I can honestly say he is family. He's always made me feel welcome, has considered me as family on his family outings, and has provided for me when he really really didn't have to. He has a smart remark for everything that keeps you laughing and can reference a load of t.v. shows. Sometimes I would get lost in conversations between Josh, his brother and his dad. It would be movie reference after t.v. reference so on and so forth, and I absolutely love it! I'ts watching a family bond and it is so precious to me. Every time he took everyone out to eat, on the drive home he would say "Thank your father kids" (referencing Married with Children) and Josh, Justin and myself would chime in "Thanks dad" and then he'd say "Like you mean it" and in a more chipper tone "THANKS DAD!" These are the silly goofy memories that are so dear to my heart. And I want to have more memories like this, except Mike is back in the hospital. He's waiting for a new heart and currently is hooked up to a VAD (Ventricular assist device). He hasn't seemed to have much improvement and things are not looking to well for him. I'm devastated. Although I have known people that have passed, I have never lost anyone this close to me and I'm selfishly saying that I am not ready! He's not allowed to go yet. If Josh and I get married, I want him there! When I graduate college, I want him there! If we go out to dinner, I want him there!!! God please I pray that he gets a new heart to replace his broken heart and I pray that his body does not reject it and he is back to his good old self again...no, that he's even better!!! Please God, please....