What defines me?

So I have been getting a lot of grief for some post on Facebook or comments that I have made about "reasons for wanting to be thin". I am told they are superficial and I just need to love myself. This is a very discouraging statement to me being that my whole life I have been told that I am not accepted because of my weight and I need to be thin. Now that I am working so hard towards being thin, I'm told I just need to love myself. This is causing a lot of inner turmoil and confusion. First I want to say, when someone is working so hard for their goals, why criticize them and put them down? Even if the reasoning is not something you necessary agree with, why can't others just be happy that the person is doing something. I spent a great deal of my life, being controlled by my weight. I have always struggled with being insecure and have let my weight hinder me from living a life that I want. I decided I didn't want it to have that control over me anymore and it needed to go. Since I have made this choice, I have been more active, have gone out more, have had my self esteem boosted (even just slightly but enough to notice), and have been more or less happier with myself. Yes I do have superficial goals like wearing a bikini on the beach and that's because I've spent my life in oversized t-shirts and one piece swim suits feeling like a beached whale. Of course I want to be the one in the hot bikini because I worked so damn hard for it. I'm sorry if that offends people but it is what it is. But what people don't understand is there is so much more to this weight loss dream than "superficial" attributes. I am sick and tired of having something in my life that controls me. It is a serious problem for me. It has caused me to suffer from depression and caused me to push others out of my life. It has caused me to hide away from the world and miss out on so much. I used to get winded walking around the grocery store so I just wouldn't go. I never wanted to do anything. Now, I walk a few miles a day, and even started jogging as well. The point I'm getting at here is I'm actually doing something instead of wasting away. I'm actually getting up and working hard. And I feel good about it. Isn't that a good enough reason for me to want to be fit? To feel good and not be depressed? Well, I know that there is more internal issues that I have to sort out that have nothing to do with my weight so my friend encouraged me to make a list of things I like about me, things that have nothing to do with my weight, and then focus on making those things better and letting those things define who I am and not let my body define who I am. So that's my next challenge, figure out what really defines me. Because when this weight is gone, who am I really?