Three Weeks!!!

Well, I still do not know what is to become of me. In the mean time, I am back at my home store in Rancho Cucamonga. I am technically Assistant Manager but for the next three weeks I will be Store Manager as the current one is going on medical leave. Today was the first time we worked together since I attempted to quit and it was an emotional roller coaster ride. I never wanted it to be personal but I guess I should have learned from "You've Got Mail" that it is still in fact very personal. I do not know what will happen in three weeks; only time will tell. I can say this, I am going to take these three weeks and do everything in my power to turn that store around and show them that I AM capable of it. I deserve more credit for what I do and if it is not given when necessary, then I will find it else where. I am too old to play mind games. Three weeks; I can do this!!!

AA Tango...

So here's the story of what happened. Thursday I got a call from the DM asking me to cover the Rancho Store (the one I just quit from) and reluctantly I said ok. I called Bellasposa (the job I was suppose to start on Friday) and said there was a mix up as to when my last day was and I needed to work at Alfred Angelo Friday. They said they would call me back and let me know the new schedule. Friday, I worked all day and then Friday night, the DM called me and asked me to come to the Huntington Beach store to meet with her and talk about "options". Again, reluctantly, I said ok but was hoping to hear from Bellasposa. I got ready to go to Huntington today but kept my phone one me just in case Bellasposa called. No, they didn't. So I resentfully drove to Huntington Beach. I got to the store and the DM said she will be with me shortly and asked the 3rd key to show me around. 4 hours later, the DM came to the front and said "alright Nicole, lets go to lunch". So we walked across the parking lot to a nice little Chinese Food Restaurant. She proceeded to ask me if I could work at Huntington for 2 weeks so she could create a position for me closer to home and that way I will get management training and also train the management there with the computers (because they are both new) as well as the new employees. I told her I would think about it. We talked for awhile about me leaving the Rancho Store and what has been going on there. She again told me how important I am to the company and she doesn't want to loose me. So we head back to the store. I finish the day and get ready to leave. Go to my car, check my messages and I had a voicemail from Bellasposa saying it's not going to work out. He said he emailed me and I didn't respond but when I got home, I had no email. And I was waiting for them to call. This is the 3rd call I was waiting for from them, so whatever. I guess that just wasn't meant to be. So now starts the Alfred Angelo tango! I am an assistant manager, training and in training and I have no home store. Based on the history of circumstances like this, I will probably be transferred all over SO Cal. *sigh* Why did I have to stir the waters?! Now I have to drive 2 hours round trip 5 days a week. I just hope to God that it truly is ONLY TWO WEEKS! But I can say I am happy to train that store. They need it! When I'm done with them, it will be a whole new store!!! :) I did notice a very important thing today however; at the end of the day, the Manager said "Thank you guys for a great day! You are the best team". I nearly choked on air! I haven't heard a manager say that in SOOO long! We'll see how it works out and what happens next...

complicated...

So much on my mind, so much to think about, so much to talk about...So, I quit my job. The next day, the district manager called me asking to stay with the company but go to a different store. Only problem, I was already hired somewhere else. So I had to really think about the two options. As of today, my district manager was suppose to call me. I was also suppose to go into the other job to get started. Unfortunately, I suffered from heat exhaustion this morning and it made the decision to call and ask for a couple days easier. So all day, I sat around waiting for the DM to call me. I even emailed her and haven't heard back. If I'm such an important asset to the company, why is it taking more than two days to call me back. It's just a reminder of why I left in the first place. It's one thing after another and honestly, it's not like she was giving me that great of an offer. Maybe when I tell her I have a job somewhere else, she will offer me more money and negotiate. Not likely so I guess I won't be working for Alfred Angelo anymore. Yes it does suck that I have to start back at the bottom, BUT it's a clean slate. I think I need that clean slate in my life right now. PLUS, at my new job, I get to do what I'm doing right now; write blogs. The best part, it's about photography. Plus they will train me in Wedding Photography. I don't have to drive 30 minutes and the pay is decent, so I'm pretty sure that's the route I'm going to take. The district manager ALMOST had me....she should have just called. Her loss! I can say that I feel awful for how I left and I feel bad for throwing my manager under the bus. I mean, really, I told the truth about everything, problem is, I will probably get my manager fired. And I shouldn't feel all to bad being that she was creating lies about me, but I'm not that person. Yes, I can be vindictive but I don't go around ruining people's jobs and lives. She has a family, a house, a life....and I probably destroyed it all...I FEEL AWFUL! ugh! why do I have to care?! *sigh*

Why does making a decision have to be so damn hard?! It's always been for me! I'm so indecisive and I change my mind constantly. I really hope I am making the right choice here.

Making Changes....

Friday when I pulled up to work, I had a panic attack. I wasn't even sure why but as the day continued I just felt more and more tense. It did not help that when I opened my paycheck, I did not have the pay raise that I was told I was going to have. I'm sure you can imagine my disappointment. Then, on Saturday I woke up feeling sick so I called out and yet work kept calling me! Every time I heard my phone ringing, I would have an anxiety attack. I can't even be sick without being bothered. It got to the point where I turned my phone off because the anxiety was over whelming. A job is not suppose to do that to a person! As of Sunday, I turned my phone on to see more missed calls and voicemails. Upon listening to them, I was told I was expected to be at work at 9 am! The schedule I have states that I was off on Sunday!!! At this point, I decided I am done with the constant changing schedule, the hours of unpaid work, the ridiculous amount of stress, being asked to drop/change my school schedule after it was already approved, and the plethora of other things that should not be happening in a normal business. My sanity is more important to me than walking on eggshells because my status is only "temporarily" and any wrong move I make is the end of me. I called Bellasposa and accepted the position but will continue to seek a position that is a better fit for me. Although photography is my dream, and working at Bellasposa will give me a little experience with Wedding Photography, I am not all that excited about the Bridal Sales part. I think I need a break from bridezillas for awhile. So, I am embarking on a new journey and I'm excited to see where I end up.

On another note, I had a lot of free time today and worked on getting my new room put together. I am now completely unpacked but still have stacks of papers and other stuff I need to sort through. I hung some of my pictures of Paris (from a 2007 Black and White Calender), hung my posters, and put picture frames on my shelves. It's starting to feel more and more like home. I think Millie feels that way too, she spends more time in her favorite spot (the window) and less time hiding under the bed. I love being 3 minutes from Josh, 3-5 minutes from school (depending on traffic), still only 10 minutes from work. I have barely spent any money on gas! It's great (cuz I'm broke) :p Anyway, time to try and sleep...Good nite world.....